Beatriz at Dinner

★★★½ - A Review by Cameron Kanachki

Beatriz at Dinner is a film that is certain to have people who like it, people who hate it, & most importantly, a film that is certain to make people think long & hard about it.

The film focuses on Beatriz (played by Salma Hayek), a holistic practitioner in Los Angeles. Beatriz emigrated from Mexico a long time back. She has recently lost her pet goat, as her goat was murdered by a neighbor. She breaks down about this while giving a client, Kathy (played by Connie Britton), a massage before Kathy's dinner party involving a business venture. As Beatriz leaves, her car breaks down, so she must spend the night. Kathy's husband, Grant (played by David Warshofsky), initially objects, but reluctantly agrees.

The first group of guests arrive: Shannon (played by Chlöe Sevigny) & Alex (played by Jay Duplass).  Soon after, Doug Strutt (played by John Lithgow) & Jeana (played by Amy Landecker) arrive. It is revealed how Beatriz met Kathy & Grant: Beatriz helped Kathy & Grant's daughter, Tara, recover her strength after treatment for cancer.

Beatriz says that she knows Doug from somewhere, but she doesn't know where. The dinner is moderately peaceful, aside from a moment where Beatriz became agitated over his assumed involvement in a hotel construction in Mexico that ruined Beatriz's hometown.

But after dinner is where everything begins to unravel. As Doug mentions hunting in Africa, Beatriz becomes very angry. It is clear that their worlds will collide in a very huge way.

Salma Hayek & John Lithgow's powerful performances lead the way. They are the bedrock of this film, & ultimately, its saving grace.

Miguel Arteta's direction is solid, but underdeveloped. At some points, his intention feels unfocused.

Mike White's screenplay is solid as well. The script is great, but the narrative is a little short, & the pacing isn't good, as the film manages to make its 82-minute runtime feel almost 2 hours long.

This is certainly a film I've thought about a lot since I've seen it. It has a lot of great social commentary about casual racism, & even though the film falls short of its ultimate goal, it still provides enough ideas to make into an overall good satire.

Beatriz at Dinner was seen by me at the Landmark Main Art Theatre in Royal Oak, MI on Friday, June 23, 2017. It is currently showing at 4 theaters in the Detroit area, including The Maple Theater in Bloomfield Township, MI & the United Artists Commerce Township Stadium 14 in Commerce Township, MI. Its runtime is 82 minutes, & it is rated R for language & a scene of violence.

The Book of Henry

½★ - A Review by Cameron Kanachki

I must ask people who are currently reading this review: Have any of you ever seen a film at one time or another that had, for any amount of time, made you lose your faith in cinema? A film that made you feel that no matter how good a film could be, your faith in cinema could never be regained?

This is the film that made me lose my faith in cinema.

The Book of Henry doesn't look like a film that could do that. I will admit, the trailer did look promising. It had an excellent cast, & a good director behind the camera. But when I actually went & saw the film (& read some reviews), I saw what could honestly be described as a cinematic trainwreck.

The film focuses on 11-year-old Henry Carpenter (played by Jaeden Lieberher), a child genius in the Hudson Valley area of New York. He is, only because he's a child genius, the main financial caretaker of his family, having kept track of the taxes & bills, & having invested successfully in the stock market. He lives with his younger brother, Peter (played by Jacob Tremblay), & his mother, Susan (played by Naomi Watts), who besides being a waitress at a diner, aggressively plays the video game Gears of War while Henry takes care of the taxes & bills.

Henry becomes smitten with Christina Sickleman (played by Maddie Ziegler), his classmate & neighbor, stepdaughter of Glenn Sickleman (played by Dean Norris), the town's police commissioner. After careful consideration, Henry has come to the realization that Christina is being molested by Glenn. (Also, look deeply into Glenn's last name, Sickleman. Sick-le-man. That sounds like sick little (lil) man, doesn't it? This was confirmed by the film's director, Colin Trevorrow. It's literally the stupidest thing I've heard in a film this year).

Using his superior intellect, Henry devises a plan for Susan to kill Glenn with a sniper rifle so she can adopt Christina, thereby ending the series of molestations by her father. (Questions: doesn't she have any immediate family members? And why would they immediately decide to look into her next-door neighbor for her to adopt Christina?) But before this disaster-in-waiting can begin to be thought out, something that I can only describe as the WORST PLOT TWIST IN FILM HISTORY occurs, sending this film into a deep, deep hole it can't even try to dig itself out of.

The performances are awful, but that can't be blamed on the actors. Instead, it must be blamed on the historically awful script by generally unknown crime novelist Gregg Hurwitz, who has wrote a script filled with such melodramatic clichés, & so many tonal shifts that the film itself does not know whether it wants to be an indie comedy, a heartfelt drama, or a gritty thriller. 

And this isn't helped at all by director Colin Trevorrow, who after having directed 2012's Safety Not Guaranteed & 2015's Jurassic World, has fallen back to Earth in a dramatic fashion, & his awful direction here makes me worried for 2019's Star Wars: Episode IX, which he will be directing.

And Kevin Stitt's editing doesn't help either, as the film is poorly edited, with a series of bad cuts throughout the film, & I wondered how the film ended up in certain places, which is never a good sign.

I never thought that I would see a worse film this year than Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul or The Circle. Turns out I was wrong. Deeply wrong.

The Book of Henry was seen by me at the MJR Troy Grand Digital Cinema 16 in Troy, MI on Friday, June 16, 2017. It is currently in 6 theaters in the Detroit area, including the AMC Forum 30 in Sterling Heights, MI, the AMC Star Great Lakes 25 in Auburn Hills, MI & the AMC Classic Fairlane 21 in Dearborn, MI. Its runtime is 105 minutes, & it is rated PG-13 for thematic elements & brief strong language.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul

½★ - A Review by Cameron Kanachki

I don't understand how films like this can be made anymore. Films like this have terrible plots, narratives, & screenplays, awful direction, bad acting, & no technical ambiance whatsoever. 

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul certainly has all of the aforementioned qualities. Based on the ninth book of Jeff Kinney's long-running book series that has long overstayed its welcome, & is the fourth film of the series that has now rebooted with an all-new cast, this film once again focuses on Greg Heffley (now played by Jason Drucker), who is trying to have the perfect summer: hanging out indoors playing video games, mainly with his friend Rowley Jefferson (now played by Owen Asztalos). However, at a Chuck E. Cheese-esque place, Greg is reminded by his parents, Susan (now played by Alicia Silverstone) & Frank (now played by Tom Everett Scott) of a family road trip to his Meemaw's house for her 90th birthday, which is absolutely met with a negative response (just like this film!) by Greg & his older brother, Rodrick (now played by Charlie Wright). But before then, Greg becomes a meme named Diaper Hands after trying to get his younger brother, Manny (now played by Wyatt & Dylan Walters) out of a playscape & ending up in a ball pit with a diaper on his hands, with a number of people taking videos & pictures of him.

Honestly, this is when I realized the film would be absolutely awful. Not only would it resort to such juvenile humor like this, but also, it doesn't get how a meme is created. This would be too awful to be a popular meme.

On the way to Meemaw's house, Susan takes away everybody's phones & tablets, stating that she wants an electronic-free road trip, a wish that is repeated at least 20 times during the film's 90-minute runtime, 5 of which are devoted to the beginning & end credits (so 85 minutes for the actual film), for an unbearable average of one instance every 4 minutes & 15 seconds. Along the way, Greg becomes happy that he's going on the trip, mainly because his idol, Mac Digby (played by Joshua Hoover), a PewDiePie-esque person, whom Susan thinks is a bad influence, will be at a gaming expo in Indianapolis, not far from Meemaw's house. Greg decides to go there & get in a video with Mac Digby so he can be rid of Diaper Hands.

Along the way, the Heffleys become involved in absolutely stupid encounters, including a family that is absolutely gross & creepy, a pig won by Manny at a fair in a town that is filled with people that would have easily fit in the 1972 film Deliverance, & an absolutely predictable incident involving seagulls, an open sunroof, & a snack food.

This film is just absolutely awful. The film was criticized before the film came out for its casting of Charlie Wright as Rodrick Heffley, as he didn't look like he could be biologically related to the Heffleys at all. It even spawned the social media hashtag, #NotMyRodrick (which he isn't). And that's not the only thing he should be criticized for. His performance manages to be the worst performance in a film literally showered with awful performances throughout.

David Bowers, who directed the second & third films in the Wimpy Kid film series, shows that he has no business being behind the camera, as he basically has no cinematic vision beyond juvenile humor & absurd situations.

Bowers also has no business writing a script as well, as he co-wrote the script with Jeff Kinney, the aforementioned author of the Wimpy Kid novels. The script does not want to make us root for the protagonist & his family, & the script does not develop them into realistic, 3-dimensional characters. They are basically shells of a character who go through no arc whatsoever.

This isn't the worst film of all time, or even the worst film of the year, but it's definitely close to it. If you have to choose between this & another film, always choose the other film. Most likely, if you're a parent, even your kids will end up hating this film as much as you will end up hating it. Avoid this at all costs.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul was seen by me at the MJR Universal Grand Cinema 16 in Warren, MI on Wednesday, June 14, 2017. It is no longer in theaters in the Detroit area. Its runtime is 90 minutes, & it is rated PG for some rude humor.

It Comes at Night

★★★★★ - A Review by Cameron Kanachki

"You can't trust anyone but family." That's an excellent quote from Joel Edgerton in It Comes at Night, one of the most terrifying & disturbing films I've ever seen. Edgerton plays Paul, a former teacher who lives in a secluded, boarded-up house with his wife, Sarah (played by Carmen Ejogo), his son, Travis (played by Kelvin Harrison Jr.), & their dog, Stanley. They are secluded because of a very dangerous & highly contagious disease that has crippled the outside world. One day, someone breaks into the house. After knocking the intruder unconscious & tying him to a tree for a day, Paul concludes that the intruder is not infected. The intruder introduces himself as Will (played by Christopher Abbott), who is seeking water for his family who is stuck in an abandoned house 50 miles away. After giving Will water, Paul & Will go to bring Will's wife, Kim (played by Riley Keough), & Will's son, Andrew (played by Griffin Robert Faulkner), who are not infected either, to Paul's house, as Sarah believes that with more people there, they can defend it better.

After bringing Kim & Andrew back, Paul goes over the rules: the red door is the only entrance & exit in the house, & it must be locked at all times, with Paul or Sarah possessing the key; the firearms, including Will's, will be locked in the safe; when they venture outside, they must be in groups of 2 or 3; & they never go out at night, unless it's an emergency. Will & Kim agree, & the two families eventually become to grow closer to each other. But eventually, fear & paranoia begin to ravage the house, & no one can trust each other.

The cast is amazing. Trey Edward Shults's direction & screenplay are excellent. The cinematography by Drew Daniels is stunning. The film editing by Shults & Matthew Hannam is excellent. The production design by Karen Murphy is amazing. The sound editing & sound mixing is excellent. And the film score by Brian McOmber is haunting. This is one of the best horror films I've ever seen. It's a perfect example of how fear can turn even the most honorable men into monsters, a message that is ever so timely in the world today, especially in America.

Wonder Woman

★★★★★ - A Review by Cameron Kanachki

"I will fight for those who cannot fight themselves." That's an amazing quote from Gal Gadot in Wonder Woman, the best film in the DC Extended Universe so far. Set during World War I, Gadot plays Diana, Princess of Themyscira, AKA Diana Prince, AKA Wonder Woman. She desperately wants to train as an Amazonian warrior, but her mother, Queen Hippolyta (played by Connie Nielsen) refuses to let her train; however, her aunt, General Antiope (played by Robin Wright), secretly trains her. One day, American spy Steve Trevor (played by Chris Pine) crashes his plane near Themyscira. Following Trevor are a group of German soldiers, who attack Steve, & by extension, Themyscira. After defeating the Germans, Steve tells the Themyscirians of the War & that they must help him. Diana believes that Ares, the God of War, is behind it. Diana goes with Steve to London to help find Ares. Now, they must infiltrate the Western Front to find Ares, destroy him, & end the war.

The cast is amazing, especially Gal Gadot, who gives the best superheroine performance ever, & Chris Pine, who works really well with Gadot. Patty Jenkins's direction is excellent. The screenplay by Allan Heinberg, Zack Snyder & Jason Fuchs is excellent. The cinematography by Matthew Jensen is stunning. The film editing by Martin Walsh is excellent. The costume design by Lindy Hemming is excellent. The production design by Aline Bonetto is astounding. The makeup & hairstyling is amazing. The sound editing & sound mixing are excellent. The film score by Rupert Gregson-Williams is amazing. And the visual effects are stunning. This is one of the best superhero films of all time.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

★★★½ - A Review by Cameron Kanachki

"You would've seen a lot more if you kept your cakehole shut!" That's a hilarious quote from Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, a flawed but overall pretty good addition to the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Set in the 18th century, Depp reprises his role as Capt. Jack Sparrow, who is hunted after by the undead Capt. Armando Salazar (played by Javier Bardem) for tricking his crew to sail into the Devil's Triangle & causing them to die. Salazar has sent Henry Turner (played by Brenton Thwaites) to find Jack to warn him, who is on the island of St. Martin after failing to rob a bank. In St. Martin, a young woman named Carina Smyth (played by Kaya Scodelario) is about to be hanged for supposedly being a witch (but all she did was know about astronomy & horology, which made you a witch back then if you were a woman who was smart. I know, it's stupid). Jack is also about to be guillotined for attempting to rob the bank; however, Henry saves both Jack & Carina. Together, they, along with Jack's crew, try to find the mythical Trident of Poseidon, but a familiar friend has teamed up with Salazar to find Jack: Capt. Hector Barbossa (played by Geoffrey Rush), who now owns a huge fleet of ships.

The cast is excellent.  The direction by Joachim Rønning & Espen Sandberg is great. The screenplay by Jeff Nathanson & Terry Rossio is great. The cinematography by Paul Cameron is excellent. The film editing by Roger Barton & Leigh Folsom Boyd is great. The costume design by Penny Rose is excellent. The production design by Nigel Phelps is amazing. The makeup & hairstyling is excellent. The sound editing & sound mixing are excellent. The film score by Geoff Zanelli is excellent. And the visual effects are stunning. Although the direction, narrative & editing are underwhelming at times, it's still a great film boosted by great performances & excellent technical achievements.

Baywatch

½★ - A Review by Cameron Kanachki

"We're going to have to do what Baywatch does best. The truth is, one of you will probably die." That's an awful quote from Dwayne Johnson in Baywatch, a very unfunny film. The film is based on the 1989-2001 TV series Baywatch. Johnson plays Lt. Mitch Buchannon, the leader of Baywatch, a team of lifeguards in Emerald Bay, Florida. Also on the team are Stephanie Holden (played by Ilfenesh Hedera) & C.J. Parker (played by Kelly Rohrbach). Much to the chagrin of beat cop Garner Ellerbee (played by Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) & Mitch's boss, Capt. Don Thorpe (played by Rob Huebel), Mitch is loved by the community. At tryouts for the team, three people make the team: surfer Summer Quinn (played by Alexandra Daddario); fat nerd Ronnie (played by Don Bass); & 2-time Olympic gold medal swimmer Matt Brody (played by Zac Efron), who is doing community service as part of a plea deal after vomiting during a race after a night of a hard partying. Mitch is not happy with Matt being on the team, as he thinks Matt is not mature enough for the job. But when 2 men are murdered near the beach that are connected to drug smuggler & businesswoman Victoria Leeds (played by Priyanka Chopra), the team must get everything together & take her down.

The cast is awful. Seth Gordon's direction is terrible. And the screenplay by Damian Shannon, Mark Swift, Robert Ben Garant, Thomas Lennon, Jay Scherick & David Ronn is pitiful. This film is probably the most unfunny comedy I've seen in a long time.